Though I didn't make the money I usually do, the customers were still there and I had to oblige. Most were wonderful, as usual, however, yesterday I had a table that I almost let ruin my night.
They were one of my last tables of the night. A couple and their 23 year old daughter. Things started out really good. I greeted them and we made small talk for a minute or so and then I proceeded to tell them about happy hour. They each ordered the house Cabernet and appetizer...yes, they each had their own appetizer. I scurried away to place their order.
Just a little info before I continue. I open about 2 days a week. When you open you kind of lose track of time and it usually feels later than it actually is. I don't wear a watch so I am constantly looking at the computer to keep track of happy hour times. So I know when to do last call, you follow?
Well, I had gotten a little busy because, of course, before the manager decides to cut me the hostess filled my entire station. I'm gonna call this table of whom I am referring to today "The Klumps".
As I scan my section to see if everyone is okay I notice the Klumps have finished their appetizers and their wine was just about empty so I approach the table to clear plates and ask them if they would like another glass of wine. I haven't had time to check the time so when they order their second round I inform them that happy hour was over so it would be regular price for the wine and would they still like to have it. They reluctantly said yes seeming upset that I had not informed them sooner that happy hour was over and that if they had known, they would have ordered two at the same time. They also asked if I was going to bring them their bread anytime soon, as if they were starving. I apologized about the drink situation and told them I would bring their bread out right away. They requested 2 loaves and LOTS of butter.
I quickly rang in their drink order noticing that there was 45 minutes left for happy hour. Yay, this will surely get them in good spirits again and I feel I have a chance of turning this potentially bad experience into a great one. I grab their bread and butter with fresh plates, make my way by the bar to check on their wine, and mosey on back to their table to tell them the good news.
As I set the bread on the table I inform them that I had been mistaken and that happy hour was still going on apologizing at the same time. They give me smiles. Whew, I'm in good with them again. Or so I thought. They notice that I don't have their wine and "Mrs. Klump" asks "Why haven't you brought our wine yet?". I respond with a smile "I'll get those for you right away." All the while thinking to myself and wanting to say "Bitch, I only have two fucking hands." Pardon my french, this table was beginning to piss me off.
I practically sprinted back to bar and returned with their wine at which time I noticed they had scarfed down the 2, yes 2, loaves of bread I had just brought not a minute earlier. "Can we get some more bread and butter? Make it two more loaves."
Now, I'm hoping I don't offend anyone here but these people certainly didn't look like they had missed any meals and they definitely didn't look like they were wasting away to nothingness so I made a mental note to take my time on the bread just because, well, I'm the server and I'm in charge. If they weren't going to be happy by now I probably didn't have a chance to make them happy by the end of dinner. I threw in the towel and they were gonna know it.
A little rundown on their total order...3 glasses of wine each, 1 appetizer each, 1 entree with an added on salad each, 6 loaves of bread total, and they each ordered dessert. This sort of kind of made me happy because it meant that their check total would be quite large and I had a possibility to get a pretty good tip. Maybe I was jumping the gun a little when I thought I may get a decent tip.
The rest of the meal went perfect. Everything came out in a timely manner and I made sure they had full drinks and bread. I didn't speak but three words to them the rest of the evening. Silent service. I presented the check, which was close to $100, and waited for payment. Cashed them out, they paid by credit, and said "Thank You". After they waddled their way out of the restaurant I went to the table to clear glasses and pick up the check. To my surprise, and what a surprise it was, they left me $8. Yeah, you read right, 8 fucking dollars. I'll apologize again for my language.
Now, usually when I get a tip like this, which doesn't happen very often, most of the people are extremely nice and I dismiss it as they just didn't know proper tipping. In this case, however, I felt these people knew exactly what they were doing. I had gotten the feeling early on that they weren't going to be happy no matter what and were probably searching for any reason to complain. This would justify, in their minds, leaving a bad tip which in turn would relieve them of feeling guilty by doing so.
I'm going to go on a rant now. I feel that if a person or people have the cash to go out for a $100 dollar meal then they should have the cash to tip. I did everything I could to make these people happy and they just weren't having it. On top of that, when the manager visited the table they said everything was fabulous. The only thing that made them happy the entire evening was stuffing their faces with forks full of cheesy potatoes, steak, crab cakes, mussels, fried shrimp, calamari, bread, brownies, ice cream, and butter...I swear they used a cup full.
They might have thought they were insulting me by leaving only $8 but guess what...I let them keep their damn $8. Since I can't chase people out the door and lecture them on tipping etiquette I just decided that when I closed out their check I would leave out the tip all together. They obviously needed it more than I did anyways. Now they can get really excited when they realize they have an extra $8 to spend on their next dining experience. I bet they're thinking about what they are going shove into their mouths right this very second.
The rest of my tables tipped me extremely well which made up for the time the Klumps took up during the evening. I give a big thank you out to them because if they had not been so repulsive and rude the rest of my customers may not have tipped me the way they did. So....Thank you Mr. Klump, Mrs. Klump, and baby Klump for choosing me to serve you because without you I would not possibly have had one of the best money making nights of my serving career.
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