"Hardy Har Har!"

It's been another great week and I am loving every minute of it.  We were a little slow however, but I worked with what I had. 

I had a customer yesterday, a New Yorker, gosh I love these guys.  I sometimes wish I had their accent.  Sometimes when waiting on these fine Northerners I find myself mimicking a little accent but I don't think you can tell.

They were my last table of the night.  Father, wife, and grown son.  We talked a bunch which was nice.  They showed me pictures of their pets.  The son had a pet raccoon.  He had found her when she was just a few weeks old.  I found myself being dragged into a conversation of how smart and brave raccoons are and how big they get and so on.

Anyways, the point of my story today is about the father.  He was kind of like joke guy with a little twist.  He would order an item and then every time I brought him what he ordered he would tell me it was wrong.  With a straight face he said " I didn't order a martini.  I wanted Grey Goose, straight up, shaken well, with a little bit of olive juice, 3 olives, no vermouth, and in a martini glass."  Sounded like a martini to me, right?  That's how I kept referring to it.  So he would go through his rundown each time I would bring him something, and say it was wrong.  For a minute I thought I might have been going crazy or maybe my hearing was going.  Idk.

He would laugh after each encounter but it still made me nervous.  Of course I was laughing right a long with him.  Secretly, I didn't care for the jokes at all.  It made me feel like I was messing up(when I really wasn't) which caused me some anxiety.  I pride myself on paying very close attention to details when customers order and I have 99.99999999% accuracy.  This was kind of a tough table.

Needless to say, these customers enjoyed everything.  We had some laughs and I tried my best to keep up and catch on.  In the end it was worth it.  The check was $144.73 and they left me $40 for a tip.  I'd say I put on a pretty good front with this table...thanks joke guy(kind of) for making me feel anxious and then rewarding me for sticking it out:)

A Little "Tip"sey?

I woke up this morning in a fantastic mood.  Yesterday was a great end to a wonderful week and, it was my birthday.  As I grab my coffee and sit down to my computer I decided to check up on my fellow bloggers and read quite a few entries on tip sharing.  Guess what my subject will be today?

This topic seems to be a bit controversial.  It seems most of the issues include whether an employer is allowed to make you tip out an employee who would otherwise not get tipped, is the percentage too high or too low, or who deserves a tip out and who doesn't.  Today I will express my thoughts on who I think should get a portion of my hard earned money.

My employer requires all servers, and only servers, to tip out 3% of our total sales.  This gets divided between the hostesses, bussers, and the bartenders.  So, if I have a $1000 night, I am forced to tip out $30.  That's a lot of dough.  In most cases I still take home 20% after tip out but in some, it turns out to be way less.  I remember one time I had close to $800 in sales and before tip out I had $93.  Minus tip out...$69.  Terrible!

Let's start with the hostesses.  I feel that no tip out should be given.  Why?  Well, does it really take that much effort to walk people to their table?  I'm not knocking on the host, I too have held that position.  They do put up with some crap.  Customers aren't usually familiar with procedures that affect where they will be sat.  Like rotation, table size, how many staff are on duty, etc. Moving along, hostesses have the power.  If they like you, they will make sure you keep a full section all night.  If they don't, well, I think you get the picture.  So, If I have beef with a hostess and she doesn't seat my section like others then shouldn't I be allowed to not tip her the same way as her fellow hosts?

Next, we have the bussers.  They, for the most part, do a pretty good job.  Carrying around a heavy bus tub all night and having to scurry around the dining room to clear tables as fast as they can has to be exhausting.  But, yes there is a but, I think they should get paid minimum wage or higher to do so.  Not all bussers do their job but still get an equal part of the tip out.  Also, they pick and choose which tables to bus first.  If you haven't done your job as a server and prebussed your table, no matter how busy you are, they may choose not to bus it.  There is favoritism as well, same as the hostesses.  If you have beef then you will have dirty tables.

Lastly, we have our wonderful bartenders.  This is a position I have also held in the past.  At the establishment where I work we have 1 bartender on the well.  This person makes the drinks for only the servers.  Then there are two other bartenders that work the bar.  All 3 stay behind the bar all night.  The servers are responsible for running drinks, stocking and shining bar glassware throughout the shift, filling the ice for the bar, emptying their bus tubs, fetching their bread, emptying their trash, and running their food.  They are not required to tip out.  So, after doing everything for the bartenders, except make their drinks, tell me why they deserve a tip from me!

My final decision on this issue...I deserve ALL of my tips.  Not only do I have to wait on multiple customers at any given time, I also am responsible for making sure my tables are prebussed, the bar is functional, my own running side work is done, running my own food and beverages, and holding a smile on my face.  We servers have lot's of different responsibilities around the restaurant and we work hard at it so why can't we keep the money that we earn?!

"The Klumps"

This week was a really really slow week.  I was disappointed, but part of the job description in being a server is that you gotta take the good with the bad, right?

Though I didn't make the money I usually do, the customers were still there and I had to oblige.  Most were wonderful, as usual, however, yesterday I had a table that I almost let ruin my night.

They were one of my last tables of the night.  A couple and their 23 year old daughter.  Things started out really good.  I greeted them and we made small talk for a minute or so and then I proceeded to tell them about happy hour.  They each ordered the house Cabernet and appetizer...yes, they each had their own appetizer.  I scurried away to place their order.

Just a little info before I continue.  I open about 2 days a week.  When you open you kind of lose track of time and it usually feels later than it actually is.  I don't wear a watch so I am constantly looking at the computer to keep track of happy hour times.  So I know when to do last call, you follow?

Well, I had gotten a little busy because, of course, before the manager decides to cut me the hostess filled my entire station.  I'm gonna call this table of whom I am referring to today "The Klumps".

As I scan my section to see if everyone is okay I notice the Klumps have finished their appetizers and their wine was just about empty so I approach the table to clear plates and ask them if they would like another glass of wine.  I haven't had time to check the time so when they order their second round I inform them that happy hour was over so it would be regular price for the wine and would they still like to have it.  They reluctantly said yes seeming upset that I had not informed them sooner that happy hour was over and that if they had known, they would have ordered two at the same time.  They also asked if I was going to bring them their bread anytime soon, as if they were starving.  I apologized about the drink situation and told them I would bring their bread out right away.  They requested 2 loaves and LOTS of butter.

I quickly rang in their drink order noticing that there was 45 minutes left for happy hour.  Yay, this will surely get them in good spirits again and I feel I have a chance of turning this potentially bad experience into a great one.  I grab their bread and butter with fresh plates, make my way by the bar to check on their wine, and mosey on back to their table to tell them the good news.

As I set the bread on the table I inform them that I had been mistaken and that happy hour was still going on apologizing at the same time.  They give me smiles.  Whew, I'm in good with them again.  Or so I thought.  They notice that I don't have their wine and "Mrs. Klump" asks "Why haven't you brought our wine yet?".  I respond with a smile "I'll get those for you right away."  All the while thinking to myself and wanting to say "Bitch, I only have two fucking hands."  Pardon my french, this table was beginning to piss me off. 

I practically sprinted back to bar and returned with their wine at which time I noticed they had scarfed down the 2, yes 2, loaves of bread I had just brought not a minute earlier.  "Can we get some more bread and butter?  Make it two more loaves." 

Now, I'm hoping I don't offend anyone here but these people certainly didn't look like they had missed any meals and they definitely didn't look like they were wasting away to nothingness so I made a mental note to take my time on the bread just because, well, I'm the server and I'm in charge.  If they weren't going to be happy by now I probably didn't have a chance to make them happy by the end of dinner.  I threw in the towel and they were gonna know it. 

A little rundown on their total order...3 glasses of wine each, 1 appetizer each,  1 entree with an added on salad each,  6 loaves of bread total,  and they each ordered dessert.  This sort of kind of made me happy because it meant that their check total would be quite large and I had a possibility to get a pretty good tip.  Maybe I was jumping the gun a little when I thought I may get a decent tip.

The rest of the meal went perfect.  Everything came out in a timely manner and I made sure they had full drinks and bread.  I didn't speak but three words to them the rest of the evening.  Silent service.  I presented the check, which was close to $100, and waited for payment.  Cashed them out, they paid by credit, and said "Thank You".  After they waddled their way out of the restaurant I went to the table to clear glasses and pick up the check.  To my surprise, and what a surprise it was, they left me $8.  Yeah, you read right, 8 fucking dollars.  I'll apologize again for my language.

Now, usually when I get a tip like this, which doesn't happen very often, most of the people are extremely nice and I dismiss it as they just didn't know proper tipping.  In this case, however, I felt these people knew exactly what they were doing.  I had gotten the feeling early on that they weren't going to be happy no matter what and were probably searching for any reason to complain.  This would justify, in their minds, leaving a bad tip which in turn would relieve them of feeling guilty by doing so.

I'm going to go on a rant now.  I feel that if a person or people have the cash to go out for a $100 dollar meal then they should have the cash to tip.  I did everything I could to make these people happy and they just weren't having it.  On top of that, when the manager visited the table they said everything was fabulous.  The only thing that made them happy the entire evening was stuffing their faces with forks full of cheesy potatoes, steak, crab cakes, mussels, fried shrimp, calamari, bread, brownies, ice cream, and butter...I swear they used a cup full. 

They might have thought they were insulting me by leaving only $8 but guess what...I let them keep their damn $8.  Since I can't chase people out the door and lecture them on tipping etiquette I just decided that when I closed out their check I would leave out the tip all together.  They obviously needed it more than I did anyways.  Now they can get really excited when they realize they have an extra $8 to spend on their next dining experience.  I bet they're thinking about what they are going shove into their mouths right this very second. 

The rest of my tables tipped me extremely well which made up for the time the Klumps took up during the evening.  I give a big thank you out to them because if they had not been so repulsive and rude the rest of my customers may not have tipped me the way they did.  So....Thank you Mr. Klump, Mrs. Klump, and baby Klump for choosing me to serve you because without you I would not possibly have had one of the best money making nights of my serving career.

"You're the Boss....I Guess"

I haven't wrote in a couple, sorry, but life has been going pretty good in all departments lately.  I do have ONE complaint however.  My boss!  Technically I have 3 bosses, 2 of which are men.  The head honcho of the place is a woman and thank goodness for that.  I get along with all of my managers but one of them is slowly getting under my skin.

I have been in the restaurant business for 18 years now.  I graduated culinary school and have plans to open my own establishment when I retire.  Over the years I have rarely worked for women.  It seems that this business is dominated my men and I think that's a real shame.  In my opinion, and experience, I have come to realize that men seem to abuse their position of power more than women.  I'll explain.

My relationship with our GM/Owner is great.  She takes pride in her work.  She is stern but fair.  Very fair.  I like that about her.  I am continually taking notes.  Always carefully watching how she makes business decisions, her dealings with customers, how she interacts with staff, etc.  She has a work ethic that is out of this world.  She has had my respect from day one.  She is very serious about her business but can also let loose enough to have a normal conversation with one of her employees.  There is no favoritism or fraternization with her, which is one of the things I like about her the most.

Now, with manager #3.  He's a pretty laid back cat.  He's the executive chef.  Around my age...which I will not divulge.  He also takes his job very serious and doesn't play favorites, although he does hang out with some of the guys at work, outside of work.  Guys stuff, you know, like football, golfing, working out.  He can crack a pretty funny joke here and there and isn't afraid relax a little if needed.

Then, there is our Asst. Manager.  He's a big problem in my book although he will not ever know it.  Not only does he play faves but he is 100% unfair.  I am convinced that I have to constantly call out sick, show up late to work, not prebus my tables, make sure I don't run any food or drinks, and completely forget to do my running side work, to be able to get a good section on days that he works.  Those kind of employees seem to get everywhere with him when I can't get anywhere. 

I am an extremely great employee.  I always do ALL of my work and some.  I help anyone who needs it. I have, not one single time, never been late for work.  I also have never called out sick, I had my shifts covered by other employees instead, otherwise I would go to work regardless.  I keep my station immaculate and help others do the same.  I feel I sometimes am picking up a lot of slack but hey, whose keeping track right?  I have never had a customer complaint and my comps are one of the lowest there.

So tell me why this mf don't see that and reward me accordingly.  This summer he had taken an extended amount of time off, 3 months, and it was the most glorious 3 months ever.  Stations were rotated properly and everyone got a fair shot at making some really good money.  It was like we were all together in this thing we call hospitality and things ran so smoothly all summer long.  Then he comes back and everything goes down in shambles.  Ever since his return I have gotten a good station maybe 3 or 4 times. I haven't broke $100 one time.  However, during our slowest time of the year(summer), I made over $100 every shift.  I have not been allowed to clock in early, not once, but when certain other employees come to work 1, maybe 2, hours early they are allowed to do so.  This burns me up so bad I almost cannot write this entry.  What the hell!

He has reminded me why I have always hated working for men.  I'm not saying that all male bosses are like this but 99% of the one's I have worked for, have been.  I have been considering bringing this to my GM's attention but I really don't want to be a tattle tail or seem like a complainer.  What should I do?  HELP PLEASE!

"I've just been in a very bad mood for 40 years!"

I have a bit of a funny story today.  It involves 4 ladies, in their 70's I'm assuming.  They are dressed in their Sunday best.  Pant suits, heels, jewelry to match, big hair, and lots of make up with an attitude to match.  Oh, and they all have accents...New York or New Jersey perhaps.

I was scheduled to open this particular day.  We usually have 2 openers for the first couple of hours.  This is usually a good thing because we almost always get a nice little pop of business before the rest of the waitstaff arrive.

It was my turn in the rotation.  I observed 2 older women wander in.  David, the host, greeted them with a smile and asked how many in their party.  They informed him that there would be 4 and they would like a booth by the window.  He happily obliged.

After the ladies were seated I grabbed my bev naps and made my way to greet the women.  I was thinking to myself that it was just too cute, these ladies, all done up.  They must be having a girls night.  This was going to be fun...and easy...or so so I thought.

After introducing myself as being their server for the evening I was met with a look of disapproval from the woman who was in the #3 position at the table.  She expressed to me that she thought the young man who had showed them to their table would be waiting on them and the tone of her voice let me know that she was VERY disappointed.  I could tell immediately that this was going to be a tough table.  Both women ordered water with lemon and said they would like to wait for their friends to arrive before they ordered.  Fine by me!

Over the next half hour I checked on the ladies, each time being informed by #3 that her friends are coming and that they were not in a hurry but in a tone that was as cold as ice.  I told #3 that I was sorry and that I was not trying to rush them.  I was just making sure all was well and that they weren't in need of anything.

At this point, I have already come to the conclusion that #3 was probably the leader of the pack.  Let me elaborate.  She was very vocal, loudly vocal.  She seemed annoyed by everything and everyone.  She was going to be in a bad mood whether I liked it or not.  No matter how perfect I was going to try to make her experience, she was not going to be happy about anything.  All I could think..."Kill 'em with kindness!".

Finally, the rest of the group arrived.  I automatically brought them water, with lemon, and began my menu presentation.  I had not even gotten through an entire sentence before I was rudely cut off by, you guessed it, #3.  "I see that you have clams for your special tonight.  I don't like clams!  Do you have mussels?" she barked at me.  Now, if she would have let me continue with a description of our menu she would have been informed that we do, in fact, have mussels and that they were our most popular dish.  It took me about ten minutes to get through the presentation.  I have never answered so many questions in my life.  For a minute I thought I was being tested on my menu knowledge and when I returned to the kitchen I would be approached by my manager with a smile and a big pat on the back for doing such a great job.  Just daydreaming I guess.

Anyways, #3 proceeded to ask me question after question after question.  Mostly about the prices.  See, the clams were $13 and the mussels were $9.  She wanted an explanation as to why there was such a price difference since they were prepared basically the same way.  She couldn't afford $13.  That was just too expensive.  On top of that, she doesn't eat a lot so she wanted something small but filling.  In the end, after all the questions, she ended up getting the clams($13) with an added salad($3).  She ordered for the rest of the ladies at the table, and yes, she asked a million and 1 questions, and 20 minutes later I was finally done taking their order.  WHEW!

Here's a rundown on their order...1 appetizer, 4 salads, and 4 entrees.  Our steps of service are...drinks, appetizers, bread and salads together, dinner, then dessert with coffee.  After placing the order I made my way back to the table to refill water and inform the ladies that their appetizer would be out shortly.  Surprise, surprise!  #3, almost yelling, wanted to know why I hadn't brought the bread to the table yet.  With a great big smile on my face I replied that we usually serve the bread with the salads but if she would like, I would be "happy" to bring her bread out before.  "Well, what do you think?" she said to me.  Funny, I know what I thought and it didn't have anything to do with bread, if you know what I mean.

Making this long story short, the entire experience was a nightmare, and the tip definitely did not make it worth it, but I had a few laughs throughout the whole ordeal when normally I would have let it ruin my entire night.  Why?  Well, picture it.  Four older ladies, all done up, looking a hot mess, with New York accents, and grumpy as hell.  It's a little funny, right?